An Iron Weasel Love Story
by GerardWayLOVERR
Summary: Derek is secretly in love with Ash, and Ash is secretly in love with Derek, well, who isnt? But when Bleed walks into the Campbell house, acting like he owns he place, will Derek and Ash stick together?
1. Bleed arives

_**I DO NOT OWN THIS SHOW OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED IN THIS STORY.**_

**An Iron Weasel Love Story**

It was around 9.05am when the members of Iron Weasel awoke. "God, that was a bad night's sleep!" mumbled British heartthrob, Derek Jupiter. Half asleep, Burger sniffed the wonderful scent of bacon and toast from the kitchen and then dashed towards it. Once he had left the room Ash asked what Derek meant by "a bad night's sleep", since he had a wonderful dream about the two of them (that part was not mentioned.) "It was horrible. I dreamt about Bleed climbing through our bedroom window and strangling you and me to death!" Deep down inside Ash was rather glad Derek only dreamt of the two of them and that they died together.

After their chat Ash and Derek made it to the kitchen just as Beth was dishing up. But something was wrong. Not only had Beth cooked 6 meals instead of 5, but the scary man from Derek's dream, the one who always showed his unshaven armpits and shouted "Light bulb!" in his fake British accent was sitting in Derek's seat! Just before Derek could scream Beth said "Oh, Derek, you have a visitor. Bleed, is it?" "Yes" Bleed answered. "He said he and you used to be in a _very_ close relationship..." Boyfriend and boyfriend" Bleed and Burger replied in unison before sipping their coffee.

"HOW DARE YOU SIR! INFACT YOU AREN'T EVEN DECENT ENOUGH TO BE A SIR! BUT ANYWAY, HOW DARE YOU...MONGREL, THINKING YOU CAN JUST WALK IN HERE WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH AND TELL _BETH_ ABOUT MY LIFE!", screamed Derek. "Okay Derek calm down, it's alright." Beth murmured, trying to console him. "No...it's not alright." Derek whispered so that only Beth and Bleed could hear.


	2. Gig rehearsal

After breakfast Tripp suggested they rehearsed for their upcoming gig next month and that Bleed should join them for old time sake. "You really think I'm going to let him rehearse with us kid?" said Derek in the surprisingly soft tone that they all loved, especially Ash. "Derek, I did doubt it, but you're gonna have to deal with it.", replied Tripp. Without any argument he led the band and their guest into the garage. "Okay, our main song is 'Pull My Finger', so we better practise that."

"Like an angel in the fire  
>Like a devil in the rain<br>You make my face go crazy  
>Like a baby on a plane <p>

Love is flowing through me  
>A volcano gonna blow<br>Evacuate the village  
>Look out now, here we go<p>

Pull my finger  
>It's a real stinker<br>Pull my finger  
>Just don't break my heart<p>

It's a massive stinker  
>Smell it linger<br>Just don't smell my fart!"

Once they were done Bleed left. "Yeah, good riddance!", said Derek as soon as Bleed was out the door. "Dinner!", shouted Beth. They all raced to the kitchen. Derek got there first because he's cool like that. "Oh, where's your friend? I thought he was staying the night." "What? Oh, no he was definitely not staying the night. He's gone, and hopefully he won't come back." Derek said in a happy voice. "What exactly is your problem with that man, Derek? You were acting like a child while he was here, you're 28 for goodness sake!" Beth asked. Derek stared at his 3 other band mates before speaking. "My problem, Beth, is that when Ash, Burger and I were in High school, we held an audition for a lead guitarist, like we did last year when Tripp won." Derek explained, pointing to Tripp. "And when we invited Bleed into the band, he wooed me into loving him. But after 4 successful gigs he stole our money and left us!" There was silence as Derek, Burger and Ash remembered that tragic summer. After 2 minutes Beth broke the silence. "Oh...well, I'm sorry. I hadn't realised." "It's fine Beth." Ash said, stroking her arm comfortingly, which Burger was not happy with.

Later that evening while everyone was in bed, Derek got up to get some water, only to be frightened to death by Ash, who was sitting at the kitchen table. "HOLY COWS WHO EAT FISH! Ash, you scared me!" "Sorry" Ash mumbled, clearly upset. Derek noticed his mood straight away. "Ash? Ash are you okay?" Derek asked in a kind but concerned whisper. "I'm fine, just... curious." Derek blinked. Shocking... He always thought Ash never thought seriously about stuff. "W-what about, Ash?" Derek stuttered, utterly confused and surprised. "You. I mean, you were in love with Bleed for ages, and when he broke up with you, you cried for 3 weeks, never spoke to anyone and barely ate anything in the cafeteria. But when you go out with someone else, and the relationship doesn't last you never seem upset. I'm also confused about another thing. When you and Bleed did go out, you were obviously... gay. But you used to go round kissing a different girl every day...so I really can't tell if you're gay or not. Or who you love. Because you haven't kissed a girl for a long time." Derek's eyes hadn't blinked since Ash opened his mouth and they were getting quite dry. "1) Because Bleed and I were in a **PROPER **relationship. And 2) you know Ash, some people can be both gay and straight. But is it any of your business who I love? It could be a lady or a man. But I'm starting to have second thoughts!" Derek replied and walked out the room. He was now the upset one. Ash sat there for a little while, gathering all of the conversation together and working out what it meant. 'LIGHT BULB!' "Derek...loves..._**me**_! Oh gosh! All this time I could have told him my feelings for him and he wouldn't have shouted. He would have _**kissed**_ me!"


	3. Love is in the bed

Ash dashed into the bedroom, shouting "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.", over and over again. "Dude! What's your problem? I'm trying to sleep man.", Burger complained. Ash ignored Burger's comment and walked slowly over to the bottom bunk. "Derek?", Ash whispered, pulling the covers away. "Derek, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like that. God I'm so stupid!", All Ash could hear was the loud snore coming from the fat man above. At least Burger's asleep. "Why do you think you're stupid?", mumbled Derek from under his red silk covers. Ash looked down. "Because all this time you... loved me. And I love you too. So much. And I never noticed you loved me, so I couldn't tell you I loved you too. And that makes me stupid." Derek turned to face Ash and sat up. "You actually love me?" Ash sighed and answered, "Who wouldn't?" They stared at each other for a short moment, then leaned in. Ash and Derek shared the kiss they had been waiting for.

Next morning, Ash woke up. Next to Derek. His T-shirt, trousers and, well I don't need to go into detail, but they were all on the floor along with Derek's clothes as well. Ash smirked and snuggled into Derek's abs. An hour later Burger woke up. He got down from his bed and took one look at the happy couple and laughed like he'd seen a cheeseburger dance with a banana. Two totally different things, that seem perfect together. "Looks like I'm not surprised.", Burger murmured quietly. He heard Beth rattle around in the kitchen. "Sounds like food." And he ran into the kitchen. "You're happy." Beth said, concentrating on the eggs in the frying pan. "Well, I have just seen love." Beth looked at Burger. "What?" , she asked in a confused voice. "Derek and Ash. I think they..had sex last night." Beth raised one eyebrow and said, "Looks like I'm not surprised." And carried on with her eggs. "Exactly what I said.", Burger replied just as Derek and Ash walked into the kitchen at a strange distance. "Exactly what did you say, Burger?", asked Derek. Burger was lost for words. Beth seemed to notice Ash and Derek's standing distance. "Oh, it's okay you guys, you two don't need to hide your love." , and she winked and turned away. Derek and Ash looked at each other. Then Derek glared at Burger, who got frightened and went to see the _interesting _eggs. While Derek was glaring at Burger, Ash had slipped his hand into Derek's and whispered to him "It's okay, they understand our love. We don't need to hide it." Derek turned to look at Ash then smiled. "You're right." (For once.) And pecked him on the cheek.

Finally Beth served Scrambled eggs and sausages. Halfway through breakfast someone knocked at the door. Beth went to answer it. "Hey Beth, is Derek there?" Beth stared at the blond, skinny man on her doorstep. "Bleed, I don't think Derek wants to see you, nor any of the rest of us." ,and just as she was about to slam the door in his face, Bleed got down on both knees and begged. Beth sighed. "Fine. But he's gonna hate me for this.", and she let him in. "Yo!",cried Bleed as he entered the kitchen. The 3 band members turned around at the same time. "Where's that little guy with the freaky haircut?",he asked. "At school, and he has a rather _nice _haircut." Answered Burger. "OHHHHHH _OOOHHHH!_ Looks like someone's got a little crushy wushy!",said Bleed in his annoying-wanna-be-British accent. "I thought we made it pretty clear we didn't want you around the last time you visited." said Derek in a low voice. "Well, if you call letting me rehearse with you guys and letting me eat lunch with you in your lovely kitchen not wanting me around, then yeah, whatever.", Bleed replied sarcastically. Just then Ash dropped his fork under the table. "Light Bulb!" Screamed Bleed, showing his pits. "Let me get that.", and he crawled under the table. He looked over at Derek's crotch, and then saw Ash's hand in Derek's on his lap. Bleed smirked and got up. "Looks like someone's in _**love**_!" , Bleed said, trying to hide the jealousy and anger in his voice. Derek just smiled and carried on eating. Ash had done and he needed the loo so he got up and walked towards the bathroom. Bleed followed. Derek realised that Bleed was going to beat up Ash so he went to protect him. "Hey you!" Ash turned around to see Bleed, then turned back and realised he was talking to the mask from Tokyo on the wall so he carried on walking. "Hey! I'm talking to you, are you deaf?" , Bleed Shouted to Ash. Ash giggled, knowing the mask would never reply to Bleed because it's an inanimate object. "Oi! You, with the stupid, spiky hair." Ash turned around, realising Bleed _wasn't_ talking to the mask. "Yeah?" "Who do you think you are? Holding hands with_** my**_ lover?" Bleed accused. "_Excuse me?_" ,replied Ash. "That's right, he's my lover. And if you think you can take him away from me, you can't.", said Bleed in a rough voice. Derek appeared from around the corner. "Bleed, you left me. You left us and you stole our money. You made it pretty clear I wasn't your lover anymore. And I'm not, I'm Ash's and Ash is mine. I don't feel an attraction towards you anymore. You broke my heart and Ash mended it." Derek said in a soft tone. "Yeah, I mended it all right, I mended it with my hair gel!",said Ash and started giggling uncontrollably. Suddenly there was a big fight right there in the hallway, in front of the bathroom! Bleed punched Ash, Derek punched Bleed, Bleed slapped Derek, Ash cried, Derek kicked Bleed where a man don't want to be kicked, Bleed fell to the floor and along came Burger and Beth to finish him off while Derek saw to Ash. "Are you okay babe?",asked Derek, concerned. Ash wiped away the tears and said "Yeah, but it hurts." Derek kissed the spot on Ash's face where he got punched. Suddenly Beth's wooden floor became wet. Derek looked down in confusion. "Oh Derek! I only wanted to go to the loo."Ash cried.


	4. Bacon

It was the crack of Dawn and the Campbell house was quiet. It was also Wednesday 1st, the day Iron Weasel played a gig at 'The Crabs and Bums community pub' in Los Angeles. Tripp was the first to wake up so he decided to make breakfast. Since he didn't know how to cook he just made himself toast. Then Burger walked into the kitchen and looked over at Tripp's plate. "Aren't you gonna have bacon with that, Little Man?",he asked, completely shocked Tripp hadn't made bacon, since it was one of the best foods in the world, next to cheese. "I don't really know how to cook bacon Burger.", Tripp replied, ashamed. "WHAT! You don't know how to cook bacon Little Man?",Burger said, slightly insulting Tripp. "No, Mum never taught me." Burger's eyes widened. "Well I'll teach you instead." Burger grabbed the last piece of bacon from the packet. " You just simply pop it in the toaster. See. Just like making toast...but with bacon."Burger explained, confusing himself. Tripp raised an eyebrow. "Burger, I don't think that's how you make bacon." "Are you judging my talents, young man?",Burger asked, playfully punching Tripp's shoulder. "No, it's just, I've seen my Mum do it in a frying pan." ,said Tripp, unsure. "Then why are you telling me you don't know how to cook bacon if you've seen Beth do it?" Tripp stayed silent knowing that if he said any more he wouldn't win.

Suddenly the fire alarm went off and when Tripp looked at the toaster. It was in big orange flames! Derek, Ash and Beth ran into the kitchen, still in their pyjamas. "Come on Tripp, we're going to get you out of here!" ,shouted Derek, swinging him over his back. They all ran out of the house. Derek put Tripp down while Beth called the fire brigade. "Wow, thanks Derek, but I could've got out myself." Derek smiled "I know, Tripp, but it's what any Englishman would do."

Not long after Beth had called Emergency services, the fire brigade were here and hosing down the kitchen. When they left, Beth, Tripp, Burger, Ash and Derek stood in the middle of the kitchen. Well everyone except Burger, who was in tears because he couldn't believe what he had done. "This was my kitchen.", Beth whispered, holding back the tears and trying to sound strong. "Once again, my home has been burnt. Now how are we going to eat?",Beth continued, her voice getting fiercer. "We could eat at McDonalds every night.", Ash suggested. "WE COULD, ASH, BUT EVEN THOUGH WE COULD ALL GET A NICE HAPPY MEAL FOR $2.50, I DON'T THINK I COULD STAND GETTING AS FAT AS THE STUPID_**IDIOT**_ THAT BURNT DOWN MY KITCHEN!",Beth screamed, tears spilling down hers, Ash's and Burgers face. "Hey! It was an accident. And I don't like the fact that you think you can speak to my boyfriend and best friend like that!",Derek interrupted. Beth just gave Derek and apologising look and ran to her room. "Nice going Derek.", Burger accused. "Me? I was standing up for you.", Derek stated. "He's right,", Tripp said. "He did stand up for you and Ash, Burger. You should respect that. Mum's upset because of the shock, not because of any of us. Let's just find out what furniture has survived."


	5. The Gig

3 Months later, on Saturday morning, Iron Weasel decide to go on a trip. "Let's go to...Alton Towers!", Ash shouted excitedly. "Ash, you know we can't afford that!", Derek replied. Burger stood up. "_But, _we could afford _**Butlins**_!", he interrupted. Derek sighed and grabbed his backpack. "You guys! We're just going to some big park down town.", Tripp said, raising his voice.

After 20 minutes, the Weasel's arrived. "Wow. I've never seen this place before.", Ash mumbled. "Yeah, me neither.", Burger said. Suddenly there was a grumble. "Oh man! I need some food!", Burger complained. "We don't have any money left since we re-furnished Beth's kitchen.", Derek stated. "Oh, that's okay, I brought a picnic. Burger frowned. "Yeah, a picnic full of boring sandwiches and healthy fruits."

Tripp led the way to the spot under the tree where they could have a picnic. Once they had sat down they started eating. "Derek, I heard your conversation in the band van when we were driving home last night.", Burger said happily. Derek gasped. Burger giggled and carried on. "Sounded like you and Ash might be planning on bringing another little man into the family, eh?" Derek looked at Ash and then looked down. "Or a little woman.", Ash said, still eating his ham sandwich. Tripp looked at Ash and Derek. "You guys do realise what that could do to the band right?", he said seriously. "Yes." Derek said, holding back the tears. "But we haven't even decided yet." Tripp sighed. "I guess you're even going to get married, huh? Something stupid like that." Derek's eyes widened. "What? Oh god no! I'm only 28 and I don't want to settle down like that." "That's weird." Burger murmured. "I would've thought adopting a child would be settling down a lot more than getting married. You know what I mean?" Tripp thought about the situation for awhile. "BINGO!", Tripp cried. "Actually, having a child would be a brilliant idea for the bands publicity." "Then it's sorted, Derek and Ash will adopt!", Burger confirmed. "YAY!", Ash cheered excitedly. "I don't like the fact you're making decisions for us.", Derek said to Burger and Tripp. "Oh.", Ash sighed, then he put puppy eyes on. Derek immediately gave in.


	6. The trip

3 Months later, on Saturday morning, Iron Weasel decide to go on a trip. "Let's go to...Alton Towers!", Ash shouted excitedly. "Ash, you know we can't afford that!", Derek replied. Burger stood up. "_But, _we could afford _**Butlins**_!", he interrupted. Derek sighed and grabbed his backpack. "You guys! We're just going to some big park down town.", Tripp said, raising his voice.

After 20 minutes, the Weasel's arrived. "Wow. I've never seen this place before.", Ash mumbled. "Yeah, me neither.", Burger said. Suddenly there was a grumble. "Oh man! I need some food!", Burger complained. "We don't have any money left since we re-furnished Beth's kitchen.", Derek stated. "Oh, that's okay, I brought a picnic. Burger frowned. "Yeah, a picnic full of boring sandwiches and healthy fruits."

Tripp led the way to the spot under the tree where they could have a picnic. Once they had sat down they started eating. "Derek, I heard your conversation in the band van when we were driving home last night.", Burger said happily. Derek gasped. Burger giggled and carried on. "Sounded like you and Ash might be planning on bringing another little man into the family, eh?" Derek looked at Ash and then looked down. "Or a little woman.", Ash said, still eating his ham sandwich. Tripp looked at Ash and Derek. "You guys do realise what that could do to the band right?", he said seriously. "Yes." Derek said, holding back the tears. "But we haven't even decided yet." Tripp sighed. "I guess you're even going to get married, huh? Something stupid like that." Derek's eyes widened. "What? Oh god no! I'm only 28 and I don't want to settle down like that." "That's weird." Burger murmured. "I would've thought adopting a child would be settling down a lot more than getting married. You know what I mean?" Tripp thought about the situation for awhile. "BINGO!", Tripp cried. "Actually, having a child would be a brilliant idea for the bands publicity." "Then it's sorted, Derek and Ash will adopt!", Burger confirmed. "YAY!", Ash cheered excitedly. "I don't like the fact you're making decisions for us.", Derek said to Burger and Tripp. "Oh.", Ash sighed, then he put puppy eyes on. Derek immediately gave in.


	7. Adopting the beautiful child

After signing hundreds of sheets and visiting court twice, Derek and Ash were finally able to adopt. "I want that one!", Ash shouted excitedly when he saw a little girl with blonde hair tied up in ribbons. "Yes she's cute. Hello, what's your name?", Derek asked in a soft voice "!" Screamed the little girl. "I WANT MY MUMMY!", Ash got scared so Derek suggested they moved on. There stood a little boy, about 3-5 years old. He was the most beautiful child they had ever seen. His turquoise eyes shone, exactly the same as Ash's. His smile made his rosy cheeks raise and his little nose twitched. "He's beautiful." Ash and Derek said in unison. "Ah, you seem to have favoured Donny. He's a sweet, playful little boy.", said Sarah Jones, owner of Sunny Side Care home in Los Angeles. "What happened to him? I mean, why would anyone want to put him in care?", Derek asked curiously. "His mother died when he was born and his father wanted nothing to do with him.", Sarah replied. Derek and Ash looked at each other. "We'll take him." Ash said confidently.

"Here's your new home, Donny.", Derek murmured, opening the white door to their new home. "It's perfect because it's just down the road from Beth, Burger and Tripp.", said Ash. Donny giggled and ran up the stairs. "Aww.", was all Derek could say. Ash slipped his hand into Derek's and followed Donny up the stairs.

_**THE END.**_

_**You'll find another story that carries on from this one. The next story is called '**__**Happy Endings Never Last.' **__**In that story you'll be welcomed into more moving moments and tragic events with Derek and Ash.**_


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